Family

I get to see mine tomorrow night and that makes me SO VERY happy :)

From the last time we were together- 8 months ago in February. Dan was HAIRY! haha

The Church of St. Domino

Today is Sunday.

Most Christians have a habit of going to church on Sundays. 

I've been a pretty lazy Christian.

After 8 months here, I have to say I still haven't gotten used to the 2-3 hour ordeals that make "sabbath" mornings seem anything but restful. This morning though, Dan was gonna be driving a friend to the capitol and it was just us girls here in the house. So Nicole and I, in our Sunday best, took off wobbling into town on the pasola. And, suprisingly, it was GOOD. SO good! We sang songs that no one knew the words to and added to the syncopated clapping. We greeted one another- getting up out of our seats and mingling until we'd shook the hand, kissed the cheek, embraced or blessed every last one of them. Then we prayed together, holding the hand of the person standing next to us, asking them specifically, personally what was on their heart that morning that we could lift up to Jesus. It was COMMUNITY and it was BEAUTIFUL. 

... then the pastor got up and played the SCARIEST video I've ever seen in my life. It involved lots of fire and yelling and judgement in more fiery explosions... my heart sunk. 

So of course, afterward Nicole and I went to vent about it over a delicious cup of Dominican coffee. Nicole said, "Is it wrong that the best "church" that I can think of is hanging out around a domino board, spending time with a boy who I know feels unloved?"

I agree. As I think back over the moments that I've most enjoyed here: the moments that we shared with new friends, opened our hearts, had real conversations, laughed until we cried, and let ourselves sink into each other's lives, SO many of them happen around a domino board. After dinner at a friend's house- we pull out the domino board. Every evening, huddled together under a street lamp there is a group of men, young and old, intensely chattering about the game at hand while pieces *SMACK! SMACK!* the table. This afternoon we went to a funeral, family came together to mourn the death of their sister, and gathered in the street the uncles and cousins, friends and neighbors shared a game of dominoes. A game that brings people together, on good days and bad to share their lives. They create COMMUNITY and it is BEAUTIFUL. 

I will always think gathering together on Sunday mornings to worship, pray, learn and grow together is important. However, for me, it's the other 6 days- those spent in conversations, borrowed cups of sugar, holding one another when there's nothing left to say and shouting excitedly over domino victories- that "church" is REALLY all about. 

Mattress Guilt

I've read LOTS of books about missions. Missionary biographies to be specific- I was 13 and digging my way through Jim Elliots Journals during homeroom. I ate the stuff up. These missionaries were so SOLD OUT for Jesus, so radical, so EXTREME. Their lives were infinitely more interesting and exciting than my own and they lived with so much purpose and passion.

Now that I'm actually on the missions field though, I find myself wishing they wrote a few chapters that could maybe actually relate to me... like how high does highlighting my hair fall on the missionary vanity scale? Or- Do my frequent fantasies about shopping sprees at Target indicate that I should be spending more some time with Jesus? And- Exactly how much guilt should I feel over buying a new mattress when my friends have none?

I've begun to resign myself to the fact that the life of a missionary is a life of hypocricy. As much as I want to live among the poor and live like the poor... no matter how hard I try, I am incapable of being poor. Even if I lived in a cardboard box and ate only one meal a day of rice and beans- as long as I am still a white American, with family and friends who love and support me, I will have infinitely more than my neighbors could ever dream of having. Everywhere I go people will still assume (and in a sense, correctly) that I'm rich. I will never be one of them, I will never really fit in here.

And not just because of my "connections" but because of my mentality. Even without my laptop, itunes giftcards, or highlights, my attitude would give me away. I'm still helplessly materialistic, overly driven, independant and proud. I can only find solace in the fact that Jesus died for me too, and as far as I understand it, he wants me here.

And as I lay awake at night flinching between comfort and guilt on my new mattress, I'll continue to pray for him to make me less...

(Re)Fresh

We've been in a season of refreshing here. Winding down, taking deep breaths and looking ahead to new things. We've been getting excited about new websites and small changes and tweeks that will be made to the way we do life here. It's kind of like the feeling of cleaning out a closet or rearranging bedroom furniture- its all the same stuff, but it's looking at it in a new light, seeing it in a way you didn't see it before; and it is REFRESHING.

The last two weeks Dan, Nicole and I left our dear San Juan and traveled to the northern Samana peninsula. Consistently rolling waves, perfect light breezes, morning runs along the beach, pick-up games of Dominoes with new friends, getting lost in the pages of a good book, sipping coffee over fresh made bread every morning- it too was REFRESHING.

Here are a few pictures from our time: